


veins

by r0mantic9



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: 70s, AU, Angst, Brooklyn, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, Love Confessions, New York City, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26133556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0mantic9/pseuds/r0mantic9
Summary: The year is 1978. Judy is a gifted pianist, Jen plays bass.They're strangers, the most unlikely of friends, but love doesn’t always care about that (AU).
Relationships: Jen and Judy - Relationship, Judy Hale & Jen Harding, Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

Late December, a wintry Thursday, 1978.

‘Christmas in New York City, huh?’ Nick Prager, Judy Hale’s long distant companion and former boyfriend, waited with her outside, under the convenient airport shelter. It was snowing, heavily, and Judy was freezing. ‘You can drive, Nick. Why are we waiting around for a cab?’ She wrapped herself into a warm embrace and Nick’s lips puckered into a small pout. ‘I guess I just wanted you to have the whole experience.’ Judy looked over and smiled, running her hand up and down his arm in an affectionate way. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not used to the not-so-Californian weather.’ 

At the very first opportunity, the pair of friends stuck out their arm for a yellow cab, clambering inside away from the snowfall. ‘Don’t you want your suitcase in the trunk?’ The driver looked over his shoulder at a semi-squashed Judy, but she shook her head, hiding that she was in fact, uncomfortable.

‘You really don’t have to adjust to everyone’s needs. He would have put your damn suitcase in the trunk.’ Nick commented and moved the case so he could see her face properly. ‘I’m fine. I swear.’ Judy strained a smile. She was regretting her generosity a little bit, but the journey really wasn’t that long. ‘Traffics a little slow today, so your journey with me, my name’s Pete by the way, might be a little longer than usual.’ The driver turned up the radio to entertain the rest of their extended journey. 

‘Why are you smirking?’ Judy used her foot to take a playful kick at Nick. They had a close relationship, both platonic and romantic, but broke up because Judy decided that her focus was music. ‘Nothing.’ He gazed out of the window. The clouds were navy grey, but the snow almost made everything look heaven-like. ‘Remember how you promised to take me to a roller disco while I’m here?’ Judy grinned at her friend’s contagious laughing. ‘Brooklyn’s finest, don’t worry.’ Nick reached over and took the suitcase from Judy, taking the weight so that she could breathe properly. 

The drive took another slow forty minutes, but they eventually arrived outside of Nick’s tiny apartment in Brooklyn, but Judy just knew she would love it. ‘Well, you two love birds enjoy yourselves.’ The driver smiled, stuffing the cash into his glove compartment. ‘Oh, we’re not-’ They both froze. ‘Not anymore.’ Judy got out and said a quick and friendly goodbye, as did Nick, before the cab drove off down the road. The air seemed a little awkward after that. ‘So, when’s your show?’ They dragged the case up several flights of stairs, because the communal elevator was broken. ‘Next Tuesday.’ Judy watched her friend fumble around for his keys, opening the door. ‘You’re staying for three weeks though?’ He welcomed her inside and she nodded. ‘I wanted the whole experience.’ Judy’s insides began to tickle and she laughed, forgetting to give her first impression of the place.

Nick threw his keys onto the kitchen counter-top and nudged the brunette. ‘Is this okay?’ They exchanged cheeky smiles. ‘It’s more than okay.’ Judy wandered around to take in his homely interior. 

‘Great, so, food and beer in the fridge. Keep your shoes by the door. You’re taking my room, I’m on the couch. Any questions?’ Nick threw himself down to rest and Judy eye’d him. ‘You know, I really didn’t mind staying at a hotel. It wouldn’t have been a problem.’ The idea of taking up so much room in Nick’s apartment had been playing on her mind ever since she left Laguna. ‘No, no way. You’re always welcome here. I sleep on my couch most nights anyway.’ He tried to reassure her, but she didn’t look so sure. ‘Why don’t I believe you?’ Judy left her suitcase beside Nick’s bedroom door and slumped down beside him. ‘Believe what you want, it’s true.’ That settled it. There wasn’t any point in arguing over it, not when they were so close. Nick was always going to lend the brunette a room.

‘What now?’ He turned his head to gaze over Judy’s button features, her lovely dimples, because she was smiling ever so brightly again. ‘Well, I was going to unpack.’ She wiped down her bell bottom jeans and floral blouse, standing, only to be gently pulled back down. ‘Or we could go to that roller disco you’re so desperate to visit.’ Judy clapped her hands together and threw back her head in gleeful laughter. ‘Seriously? You’ll take me now?’ Nick nodded, taking her by the hand and standing up. It was going to be a night to remember, but for all the reasons that Judy didn’t quite expect. ‘Of course.’

The two long-time friend’s slipped into their most extravagant outfits, an array of neon blues and pinks, and even greens. They were going to a disco after all. It was the seventies, there wasn’t a more perfect opportunity to get groovy. Judy Hale was twenty five years old, and she knew exactly who she wanted to be; free-spirited, giving, and completely in love with the world, no matter the hardships. 

They drove to their local roller rink and Nick paid. Judy begged and begged to go splits, pulling tirelessly on his arm. ‘Grab your skates.’ He smiled, ignoring her silly antics. Nick thanked the employee for the footwear and dragged his best friend towards the room where all of the magic happened. There was an enormous, dazzling disco ball hanging from the ceiling, and ABBA’s Dancing Queen was playing, followed by Night Fever by the Bee Gees. This was the seventies, and Judy felt alive. They tied up their roller skates and took to the arena, either one holding onto the other for support. ‘Nick, this is amazing!’ Judy made a b-line for the centre and they spun together, careful not to slip and fall. ‘I knew you’d love it. It was a date idea of mine, you know, before we broke up.’ 

Judy knew he’d bring that back up. One night, Nick, just one night. ‘Hey, you two. What the fuck?’ They stopped still and turned. A young woman stood at the sidelines, glaring at the pair of giddy rule breakers and their radiant costumes. ‘It’s a one way fucking circuit. Read the room!’ Judy went pink. Nick helped the brunette roll over to the banister where the devil awaited them. She eye’d the employee’s name tag. ‘I’m really sorry, Jen. Me and my friend were just trying to have a little fun.’ 

Jen was a Hollywood blonde. Her hair was feathered and, well, Judy couldn’t quite make out if she had an adequate taste in fashion, because she was wearing a bleak uniform and work plimsolls. ‘Just doing my job.’ She lit a cigarette and looked between the pair. ‘Why are you dressed like that?’ Judy looked at Nick and Nick looked at Judy. ‘Like what?’ Jen rolled her eyes and took a long drag of her smoke. ‘Like weird little fucking neon fairies.’ She stood up straight and Judy smiled, opposed to Nick, who was frowning. ‘What’s your problem?’ The blonde shrugged. ‘I don’t have a problem.’ 

‘I think you do.’ He asserted. Judy looked around awkwardly. ‘I said I don’t have a fucking problem.’ Jen dropped her smoke and squashed it with the flat heel of her plimsoll. ‘You have really beautiful eyes.’ Judy set out to diffuse the conflict, but apparently her efforts only made things worse. ‘What?’ Jen pulled a face. She could have sworn the music was getting louder. ‘Are you a fucking lesbian?’

‘What?’ Judy panicked. ‘No, what, I was just- I was just complimenting you. I’m not like that.’  
Nick grasped hold of his best friend’s arm and left the rink. ‘We’re leaving.’ His monotonous tone was scaring Judy. She almost wanted him to sound angry, but he barely said a word on the drive home to his apartment. The radio was low, the sky seemed a little clearer, and the traffic wasn’t nearly as busy as it had been. ‘I’m not a lesbian, Nick.’ Judy fondled her necklace. ‘I mean, it wouldn’t be a bad thing if I was.’ She looked at him for reassurance. ‘I’m not like that, but it would be okay if I was.’ 

‘Judy, I know you’re not a lesbian.’ Nick waited at the red light and looked over to smile sincerely at the brunette. ‘I just didn’t like the way she was treating us. I won’t let people talk to you like that.’ Judy stared out of her window and sighed. ‘I’d like to have stayed a little longer. It was beautiful. All those lights? The disco ball, the music, the colours.’ She mused happily. ‘Can we do this again soon?’

Nick pulled up to his apartment and turned off the ignition. ‘After we explore the city, yeah, sure.’

Content with his answer, Judy unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out into the deep snow. Her friend offered his coat but she refused. Although their evening hadn’t quite gone as planned, and Nick had lost his temper (somewhat), she actually found roller disco Jen kind of funny, and a little mysterious.


	2. Chapter 2

Judy was refining her heart-rendering piano piece. From Friday through till Saturday. It meant a lot to her that she got it right, that every note, every delicate touch of every key, was practiced to perfection. In a way, music had become her only solace. She was self taught. It was the only thing that made sense to her, the only thing that filled the void since her mother was incarcerated. This show was an opportunity to prove her talent, to pave the way for her future, but only if she won the competition. 

‘Doesn’t that make it harder?’ Nick handed the brunette a fresh glass of lemonade. ‘Does what make it harder? Judy pulled her hands away from the keys and sat them in her lap. ‘Using a keyboard instead of a piano. Aren’t they different? I’m sorry it’s all I had.’ She shook her head generously and thanked her friend for the lemonade. ‘They’re similar enough.’ Nick nodded. ‘Can I hear you play?’

‘No.’ Her speedy response took him by surprise. ‘I mean, it’s not a you thing, I just don’t give private shows.’ Judy sipped her lemonade and smiled. ‘But it’s me. Surely I’m an exception.’ Nick stared at her, like he was waiting for Judy to change her mind, but she didn’t, and she wouldn’t. ‘I can’t, Nick. I’m sorry.’ That awkwardness was back. ‘Is it okay if you leave me to practice? I’ll be finished soon.’

‘Sure.’ Nick stepped back and paced a little, prolonging his stay. ‘Drinks later? I know a great place.’

Judy sat her glass down and looked at him. ‘What kind of place? You know how I am with bars.’ 

He opened the door to leave, smirking complacently. ‘This isn’t just any bar. You’re going to love it.’

The bedroom door closed and Judy turned to gaze at the keyboard, running her lean fingers along the console. Sometimes she found rehearsals intimate, like the world was still until she started to play. If only her instruments were personified, maybe then they’d get along better, and she wouldn’t make silly mistakes. She closed her eyes and started to play again. Her fingers danced alongside each other. Maybe it didn’t quite sound the same as a grand piano might, but it was tender, and it was quaint, and it was everything it needed to be for that moment. Nick was listening intently outside of the door. He couldn’t help himself. Judy’s music was just as beautiful as he had imagined, and secretly hoped for. 

Then she stopped, so suddenly and so unexpectedly. The end of her piece was complex, and she’d written it that way on purpose to challenge her abilities, but she’d only ever perfected it once. If it didn’t go according to plan on the night, if her fingers slipped and failed her, Judy would never forgive herself. This was her only chance, and she didn’t want to work in a food joint forever. She wanted to write music and perform, she wanted to travel and see the world’s greatest art museums. 

‘You have to get this right.’ Judy whispered to herself and continued practicing. She did so for another hour. ‘You hungry?’ Nick gently knocked on the door and waited to enter this time. She was. ‘Absolutely. I’m coming.’ Judy stood and abandoned her keyboard for the afternoon, walking through to the lounge to sit with her best friend. ‘I made pasta, sort of.’ He grinned and handed her a bowl. 

‘Sort of?’ Judy smiled. ‘Yeah, I mean, it isn’t amazing, but I thought I’d use up what I had.’ Nick dug into his, as did the brunette, but the pair of them couldn’t finish. They were pleasantly full. ‘Maybe I’ll skip supper.’ Judy sat back and placed a hand on her tummy, staring up at the ceiling. ‘Yeah, me too.’ Nick glanced at her and smiled. ‘So, about tonight. Do you want to go? I think we’ll have fun.’

She really wasn’t sure. Bars had always felt suffocating, like you’re just apprehensively waiting for something bad to happen. What was so fun about that? ‘Maybe.’ Judy took the dishes over to the sink, filling it with warm, soapy water. ‘Oh, come on. You’re going to love it, Judy.’ Nick was pleading. She hated it when he did that. ‘It’s just not my scene.’ The brunette started cleaning the dishes, looking over her shoulder at a downhearted Nick, his shoulders slumped. ‘Is anything your scene?’ 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Judy stopped to glare at him. ‘What does that mean, Nick?’

‘Nothing. It means nothing, okay.’ He stood and grabbed a dish towel. ‘I just want to spend time with you. You’re my best friend and we live so far away from each other. Just one night, that’s it. Just one.’ 

***

In the end she agreed, reluctantly of course. Judy had no idea where they were going. One thing was for sure, it was a bar, the kind of bar? That would remain a mystery until the pair of them arrived. They weren’t in Brooklyn anymore, they were in Manhattan. Judy thought it was magnificent. Those enormous buildings weren’t daunting, they were out of this world, beautiful concrete structures that made New York City what it is; a jungle. She would drive around for hours and hours if she could. 

‘We’re almost there.’ Nick reached into his glove compartment and handed Judy a box of smokes. 

‘What? Why are you giving me these?’ She gave him a look, but he was smiling. ‘Everyone smokes at this bar. I’m not talking about a few people, Judy, I’m talking about everyone. It’s a thing.’ Judy had no idea how he could be so inconsiderate. ‘Nick, I don’t smoke. It’s not a thing.’ He looked over at the brunette. ‘You smoke pot. What’s the difference?’ She shook her head at him. ‘I’m not talking about this.’ They pulled into a parking lot, but there wasn’t a bar insight, unless it was one of those-

‘Underground bars? Yeah.’ Nick hopped out and opened Judy’s passenger door. ‘You didn’t think to mention that before?’ She climbed out and flattened her ankle length maxi dress. It was yellow with orange embroidery. Judy had a feeling she wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion. She shivered amidst the chilly air and ambled down the steps. The music was hard, heavy even, and all of the guests were dressed like rock stars. ‘Love In A Void’ by Siouxsie and the Banshees was playing. Judy squeezed through the silhouettes of people and reached for Nick’s hand. It was all a bit disorientating. Judy was used to art museums, floral cafes and cutesy crystal shopping, this was none of those things.

‘Do you know where the bathroom is?’ She called over the deafening soundtrack. ‘I’m desperate!’

Nick ordered them both an array of drinks, leaning down to hear her clearly. ‘The bathroom, do you know where it is?’ He pointed over his shoulder to the right and Judy excused herself, engulfed once again by the crowd. This was far worse than she expected. The bathroom light was dim and flickering, cubicle doors were missing, the walls were vandalized. Seventies rock ‘n roll never looked so, well, unappealing. Judy apologized to a group of pale faced, metal head women for trying to wedge past. ‘I just really, really need to pee.’ They looked her up and down, smiled, and then let her go through.

‘Thanks so much.’ Judy hurried to the nearest cubicle (with a door) and held it closed with her boot. Peeing never felt so inconvenient, and to make it worse, toilet paper was nowhere to be seen. ‘Guess we’re wiggling, Judes.’ She shook her ass and quickly pulled up her underwear, meandering over to the bathroom sink. ‘Oh, man. Are you kidding me?’ The taps weren’t working. 

‘Middle sink is always fucked. Try the others.’ Judy looked over at the door and stepped back. Jen, that devilish blonde from the roller rink, was puffing away at her menthol cigarette. ‘Small world.’ Judy, scrubbing away at her hands, forced a smile. ‘Maybe.’ Jen stepped out of her way and smiled. ‘See you around, flower child.’ Judy wasn’t listening. She needed to find Nick and make the most of this dreaded night. Fortunately for the brunette, he was still standing beside the bar. ‘Isn’t this fucking fantastic?’ He twirled Judy around and handed her a strong rum. ‘Welcome to New York City, baby!’

That wasn’t her fantastical idea of America’s big apple, but it was an experience Judy would never forget. Perhaps she took life too seriously, and maybe she’d never get the chance to tell stories to her seven (or eight) grandchildren about being a free-spirited nonconformist, who paved her way as a self-made pianist in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. That’s what truly kept her awake at night. 

‘I just bumped into Jen!’ Judy uttered into Nick’s ear. ‘Who?’ He lent down again, and Judy was repeating herself, but the music was far too loud. All they could do was move their bodies and drink themselves a little stupid, and that was okay, until Judy wandered off alone, drunk, and without Nick.

She stumbled her way through the underground bar to find the nearest exit. The door led her straight up some stairs, and out into a back alley; a smoking area. ‘Shit.’ Judy tripped over her own feet and tumbled into a pile of trash bags. Confused and way over her typical alcohol intake, the brunette called out for help, and then Nick’s name, and then God, and then help again. She attempted to stand when she heard footsteps, manically waving her arms, but that only made her feel woozy. ‘Flower child.’ A familiar face towered over Judy and reached out a hand, helping her out and away from the smelly waste. ‘You again?’ Jen smiled at that. ‘Me again. You’re lucky I came out here for a smoke. You’re fucked.’ Judy stumbled into her arms, leaning on the blonde for support. ‘Aren’t you, like, supposed to hate me ‘cause you think I’m a lesbian?’ Jen sat her down against the wall and knelt beside her. ‘I’m sorry I said that. I was having a bad shift.’ She apologized sincerely. ‘Where’s your boyfriend? You really need a cab home.’ Judy laughed at that. ‘He’s not my boyfriend anymore. I’m totally on the market.’ 

Jen smiled. ‘What are you doing in a place like this, anyway? It’s fucking gross and you’re like, you know, not fucking gross.’ Judy leaned her head to one side and stared at the feather haired blonde. ‘Thinking about my beautiful eyes again?’ In an ideal world, the perfect answer to that question would have been yes, and this story about two unlikely lovers would reach its peak, and you, the reader, would smile at their predestined kiss, but this wasn’t an ideal world, and Judy was very drunk.

‘I think I’m gonna be sick.’ The brunette sloped to one side and spewed up her insides. ‘There it is.’ Jen stood up straight and lit up another smoke. Liquor always made the New York wintry air feel a lot warmer, which explained why Judy wasn’t shivering so bad against the icy floor. Regardless, Jen handed over her punk rock, leather jacket and helped her acquaintance stand. ‘Go easy on the booze next time, hippie.’ The metal exit heaved open again and, to Judy’s relief, Nick stepped outside. 

‘You’re okay.’ His features softened, but not for long. Nick realized who had been accompanying his friend and took over. ‘You’re from the roller rink. You had an attitude. Why are you with Judy?’ Jen looked between them. ‘I was helping her.’ Nick scooped up his best friend and carried her towards the street, out of the secluded alleyway. He pulled over a taxi cab and took the fastest route home, Judy now fast asleep, and Jen now left alone to puff her cigarette in peace, but truthfully, she didn’t really like the peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the piano show!

Jen worked two jobs, three if you count being the smokin’ hot lead bass player in Ted Harding’s ‘Brooklyn Disciples.’ They were a hardcore punk band, whatever that meant. Jen wasn’t sure, she just needed the extra cash. Her lustrous, feather hair and sharp attitude had proved useful - to Ted - in promoting their band, even though Jen had told him once, twice even, that she didn’t enjoy the attention. ‘They come to our gigs to see you, Jennifer. You’re going to be famous one day’ Ted would say, his hands holding hers, but Jen didn’t want to be famous, Jen wanted to be loved. Not by the many, or by Ted, but by someone else, be somewhere else.

Sure, Jen loved the Brooklyn thoroughfares. She loved the New York City crowds, the dazzling Time Square illuminations, and yeah, maybe sometimes she loved the music too, but nothing ever quite felt as it should. Maybe she wanted to be someplace else. 

‘I’ve got coffee. You want some?’ Ted Harding, his hair matted from a drunken night's rest, slid out from under his duvet and ambled around the room in search of his tartan jeans. Jen tucked her head under the pillow and mumbled something inaudible. ‘Yeah, I can’t fucking hear you.’ He stole her pack of menthols and opened his apartment window. ‘Close the fucking window, Ted.’ Jen pulled the sheets up over her shoulders. The icy breeze seeped inside, but perhaps seeped isn’t a harsh enough word, because it didn’t just seep, it rushed. 

‘I’m having a smoke.’ Ted leaned back against the draws and listened to the racket down below. Most people read their morning article, or sat around the breakfast table with a perfect nuclear family, others ran errands. Well, Ted and Jen liked to eavesdrop the neighbours. ‘What are they arguing about this time?’ Her boyfriend looked over and smiled. He never saw Jen, not really, he saw through her. 

‘Sleeping around is my guess.’ Ted bent down to kiss her, but Jen pushed him away, as she always did, and rolled out of bed to get dressed. ‘You reek of beer, asshole.’ He really did, she wasn’t lying. ‘It’s my natural odor, you love it.’ Ted liked to think Jen’s love for him was unconditional. It wasn’t. 

‘What’s today?’ She snatched back her menthols, making sure to shoot Ted a look of disapproval. ‘Buy your own’ Jen would tell him almost every morning, apparently to no avail. ‘Tuesday.’ He smiled. It had already been two days since Jen handed her favourite jacket over to Judy, and two days wondering why the fuck she did that in the first place. 

Jen walked through to their box-sized kitchen and jumped up onto the counter - cigarette in mouth - her hand reaching past Ted’s forearm to turn on the radio. ‘Good morning New York, but of course, most importantly, good morning dreamers. We have a beautiful line up for all of our love birds out there.’ Jen switched over stations to the news. ‘That was fucking gross.’ She exclaimed and Ted chortled. At least there was ~ something ~ the couple could agree on; romance was sort of disgusting.

Her boyfriend took the menthol from her mouth and stole a drag. The feline smirk on his face was enough to make Jen feel woozy. ‘I thought you were making coffee.’ She nudged him to hurry up and get on with it. There was an apparent power dynamic between the couple, and Jen was in complete control of it. ‘Black. One sugar?’ Ted glanced over his shoulder for some kind of concrete approval. ‘We’ve been dating for nearly six months. What do you think?’ He proved time and time again that he didn’t listen to Jen, and she noticed, every single time. ‘Wait, you’re working behind the bar, right?’ Ted slid over her mug, having somehow managed to still get it wrong and add milk.

‘I am today, yeah. There’s a piano show or something.’ Jen sipped her hot beverage and fumbled around in the fruit bowl for one of those cherry plums. ‘So I’m behind the bar all night. Hair up, smart uniform, shit like that.’ She slid off the bench and poured her cup of coffee down the sink. ‘What the fuck, Jen?’ Ted dumped his cigarette into their ashtray. ‘I drink it black.’ She walked through to the bedroom and left her shamefaced boyfriend to fry up his own eggs. 

Judy’s piano competition was at four that afternoon. Their meetings were becoming freakishly coincidental, but some coincidences can be wonderful, and whether it was matter of fate isn’t important. The coincidence was enough.

Jen went to work early - four hours early - when the clock struck twelve. She didn’t want to be around Ted all morning and afternoon. He didn’t have a job, unless we’re counting his band, so she paid all of his monthly bills. Music was his life, his objective. Jen understood that, she saw the passion ooze out of him at every gig, at every bar, but handling money alone wasn’t easy. 

She took a straight subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan. It was empty enough for Jen to snatch up the nearest seat and stare around at the other riders. One gentleman was suited for business, with his shiny shoes and perfect tie, a leather brief case perched on the seat beside him. It’s hard to imagine another person’s life. You ask yourself questions. Is he a John? Or a Collin? Is he a poor man in a rich man’s clothing? All of these things would remain a mystery, because all of these people are just strangers. Jen averted her gaze elsewhere, observing two elderly lovers, who’s love seemingly never died. She couldn’t imagine having something so real, something so content with someone, because she certainly didn’t feel endless love for Ted. Jen wasn’t sure she’d ever loved him in the first place. She listened to them hum the Chicago blues from their earlier days together, and she had to admit, it was sort of beautiful. 

The next stop was Jen’s and she departed the train, taking an easy stroll above ground. Traffic jammed on almost every avenue, buskers held huge boomboxes above their heads and played their up-and-coming mix tapes for passing by pedestrians, and Jen was daydreaming about the what ifs. What if she left Ted, the band, her apartment? What if she worked full-time at the roller rink? What if she moved to California? What if the reason she’d felt such an incurable disattachment to Ted, was because she didn’t love men? Jen stopped walking for a moment. ‘What if you get a fucking grip?’ The blonde asked aloud to herself, earning the attention of a chirpy group of girlfriends. 

Jen’s boss wondered why she’d showed up so early that day, but she was pleased she did, because he decided to offer her extra hours for extra cash. ‘Yeah, that’d be great, Steve, thank you.’ She hopped over the bar (when he wasn’t looking, of course) and joined her collegue, and friend, Christopher. ‘Your shift isn’t until four.’ He pointed out, throwing the dish towel back over his shoulder and sliding the glass into the beautiful mahogany cabinet behind them. ‘Ted gives me a headache.’ Jen started helping him. ‘Call it quits. I’ve told you.’ Christopher didn’t say much else on Jen’s blatant dislike for her boyfriend, but kept the conversation light instead. Pointless chit-chat was a perfect way to pass the time, everyone knew that. 

‘Want to take turns sneaking into the show?’ Jen’s answer to that question seemed like it would have been obvious, but Christopher was serious. ‘No. I mean, I don’t care.’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘What’s the matter? Is bass too good for piano?’ He smiled, watching the audience - now hands full with champagne - crowd their way into the auditorium. ‘Fuck no. That isn’t what I meant.’ He looked over at her. ‘Then what did you mean?’ Jen accepted her defeat and begrudgingly agreed to take turns with her friend, on the condition that she went first.

The room was loud and stuffy, but the grand piano awaited it’s first occupier. The stage had been angelically decorated, and the competition judges took their seats at the panel. Every participant played something magnificent, something alluring. Jen was spellbound. It would have seemed impossible for her to have chosen a winner if one of the many contenders hadn't been, well, Judy. Judy from the roller rink, Judy from the bar, and now Judy from the piano performance. 

The brunette took her seat behind the piano. The stage lights were hot, very hot, and all of those strangers, with their gentleman suits and pageboy haircuts, were waiting in anticipation for her to perform. This was it, this would determine everything. The keys twinkled under the spotlight, under the ornate chandelier, and the brunette got comfortable, as comfortable as one can be under so much pressure, and then, as soon as she felt ready, as soon as the timing was perfect, her fingers began to dance along the console. 

Jen leaned against the back wall and spaced out. She should have known the colorful flower girl from the roller rink, from the underground bar, wrote her own music, music that was magical. The piece had a run time of eight minutes. Some segments were fast, others were slow. It all seemed to be going fine, and it was safe to say Jen was pleasantly surprised, impressed even, but all didn’t go as planned. She could tell by the horrified look on Judy’s face that she’d missed a note, or her finger slipped, whatever it was, Jen knew something wasn’t right. After the piece reached its climax, and the audience gave Judy a huge round of applause, she hurried off stage. 

Jen carelessly rushed down the aisle and took a shortcut backstage, despite all of her reasons not to. Losing her job was all of those reasons. She wandered around in search of the brunette, who, when Jen finally found her, was in a heap of tears. ‘Hey, you’re Judy, right?’ She reached out her hand for the talented pianist to shake. Judy looked up at Jen and their eyes met, for the fourth time, not that she was keeping count. ‘Sorry, aren’t you that girl from the roller rink?’ There was a pause. ‘Yeah, and the bar. I helped you out back, gave you my jacket. I’m Jen.’ The blonde retracted her hand awkwardly. ‘I work here. I’m not stalking you or anything. I mean, that wouldn’t even cross my mind, you know, like, are you okay?’ Judy chuckled at her and they both eventually smiled. ‘I’ve been better. Were you watching the show?’ Jen nodded lightly. ‘Yes, you were fucking phenomenal, a real fucking natural.’

‘You’re kind.’ Judy padded her wet cheeks with a tissue. ‘Wait, did you say I have your jacket?’

‘Yeah, you have my jacket. No biggie.’

‘Shit, you’re right.’ The brunette apologized profusely. ‘I don’t have it with me.'

‘That’s okay. Um, maybe we could meet someplace, sometime, whenever you’re free. If you’re free? Don’t feel obliged. We can meet and part ways.’ Jen breathed hard, and Judy smiled again. ‘Are you asking me to hang out?’ Jen straightened up her uniform. ‘I guess? If you wanted to. We both like music, and friends have things in common, don’t they?’ 

‘I believe so.’ Judy gazed at her and, feeling bad for rejecting her just minutes before, outstretched her hand for the (nervous) blonde to shake, and she did. In such a short space of time with Jen, Judy felt better, so much better. ‘Yes, I’d like to hang out with you.’


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's really been three months or so since I updated this, sorry it's short, but quality over quantity, right?

Just as they had promised each other, Jen and Judy met on several other occasions to spend time together, which, to no one’s surprise, hadn’t gone down well with Nick and his distaste for Jen. Judy learned early on that the feather blonde wasn’t the unkind bohemian she made out to be, but instead, she was guarded, and suggested prematurely that she hated her lead vocalist and boyfriend, Ted. ‘Then why are you with him?’ Judy asked her at the time, but Jen hadn’t a reason, at least that’s what she led the brunette to believe.

In regards to Judy’s piano competition, however, she placed third with an honorary mention from one of the judges. They stated at the panel that her music was ethereal, but it hadn’t been enough to win, which meant Judy would be flying back to Laguna without the assured future she had hoped for. Silent on the matter, Jen felt disappointed by Judy’s upcoming departure to California, and their newborn relationship was starting to fester freely in her mind. ‘So you’re free this afternoon?’ The pair were exploring a dated record store together, which Jen had invited herself to, but as kind as Judy was, she was looking displeased.

‘I guess not.’ Judy pushed back a pile of old instrumental records and skimmed from front to back. Jen lit up the end of her cigarette and watched over the brunette. ‘I wish you wouldn’t do that.’ Judy said. ‘Do what?’ They walked along the aisle side by side. ‘Smoke indoors, or at all for that matter.’ Jen smiled small. ‘Did I do something wrong? You’re not usually this blunt with me.’ Judy stopped to face her, their eyes locking as they always did. ‘No, no of course not, I just, we’re spending a huge amount of time together, and don’t get me wrong it’s been fun, but I flew here to see Nick.’ Apparently this set something dormant off inside of Jen, and that sweet demeanor she had shown for the previous week had collapsed in on itself, in a way that made Judy feel guilty. 

‘Well fuck, Judy.’ The blonde took a drag of her menthol and opened up the shop door to flick it outside into the rainy street. ‘Could have told me a little sooner just how much you wanted me out of the way.’ Judy stepped toward her and reached out a hand. ‘Jen-’ ‘Don’t fucking touch me. Good luck in Cali.’ She walked out on her friend and stomped furiously through the rain. ‘Jen, wait.’ Judy opened her umbrella outside and chased after the blonde, wishing she’d worded that all a little different. 

Following her friend proved useless, because they had already lost each other in the crowd. Getting hold of a taxi home was impossible, but thankfully Judy had Nick at hand to come pick her up, having called him from a phone booth down the street. She asked him to keep an eye out for Jen on their way back, but she knew his unenthusiastic ‘of course’ wasn’t very sincere, but he did wonder what happened. ‘I hurt her feelings.’ Judy explained. ‘I told her that I’d flew out here to see you, and she didn’t take that very well.’ Nick looked over gratefully. ‘Don’t you think it was a little strange?’

‘What do you mean?’ She looked outside at the traffic and sighed. ‘You and her, you know, being friends? Just recently she accused you of being a lesbian, publically, and now she wants to spend every dying minute with you?’ Nick shook his head, ‘I think she’s projecting her own feelings onto you.’ Judy looked over curiously. ‘Are you suggesting that Jen’s a lesbian?’ Her giggles made him smile. ‘I think it would make a lot of sense’ Judy reached out to turn over the radio station to something a little more classical. ‘That’s a crazy theory, Nick.’

But perhaps it wasn’t. Jen kicked off her heavy leather boots at the door of the apartment she shared with Ted (who was black out drunk on the sofa) and cracked open a beer in the kitchen. The anger she had felt subsided and, although she tried hard not to, Jen began crying. She hadn’t felt quite this hurt before, at least not over a friend, or even a lover. Spending time with Judy had been so apparently heartfelt, so joyous, that Jen had lost herself at the thought of losing someone who made her feel happy, whatever happy was.

They’d shared a significant amount of time together in only a matter of hours, days, and now, because New York wasn’t her home, Judy would fly back to Laguna and make another woman happy, another friend, another someone. It was starting to dawn on Jen just how much this was affecting her, and she promised never to face the reason, but sometimes we have to, and she was beginning to realize that. 

‘Jen?’ She looked up to find Ted stumbling around for help, but she didn’t care to offer it. ‘I thought you’d passed out.’ The blonde commented, wiping her cheeks dry with the back of her hand. ‘Grab me a beer, will you?’ ‘You’re an asshole.’ Jen pushed past him and retreated to their bedroom to cool off and, because she desperately needed the space, locked the door behind her. Meanwhile, while the blonde moped around in her thoughts, Judy had returned home with Nick and retorted to thinking about her friendship with Jen, and what exactly it meant to them both, because although Nick’s comments in the car ride home sounded - at first - irrational, she was beginning to consider the truth to his words, and just where Jen stood with her, because maybe she stood there too. 

‘What are you doing?’ Nick leant by the kitchen counter and watched Judy reach for the phone. ‘I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. I need to apologize.’ She told him gently. ‘For what? Doing what’s best for you?’ He tried to take the phone but she kept it out of reach. ‘She’s hurt, Nick, and I don’t like hurting friends... I’m calling her.’ As soon as she dialed the number, Nick took off to flop down on the couch, trusting his friend to make the right decision, because realistically, what else could he do? She’d made up her mind. 

‘Before you slam the phone down on me-’ Judy said as soon as she heard Jen’s end of the line answer, ‘Please let me apologize. I didn’t mean to sound so cold. I’ve loved spending time with you, Jen, I have, I just needed a little space. We can still be friends. I can’t leave New York thinking I’ve lost a friend, instead of leaving with one.’ Silence from the other end made Judy wonder if she’d made a mistake, but the other woman was smiling, and she had been since she heard Judy’s pleading voice. 

‘So you want me to come with you?’ Jen queried jokingly, sliding her bottle of beer towards the benches’ edge. ‘Oh gosh, it sounded like that, didn’t it?’ They laughed simultaneously. ‘A little. Who’s to say I wouldn’t like that?’ The brunette suddenly felt flustered, chirpy even. ‘Who’s to say I wouldn’t either?’ Judy replied teasingly. Nick, lying horizontal with potato chips all over his shirt, eyed his former girlfriend from the couch. ‘I really am sorry for hurting you, Jen. I guess losing the competition hasn’t exactly turned me into a delightful person to be around lately.’ Jen - chewing on a tough piece of candy - wondered just how far she could take this, and whether or not they were sharing something mutual. ‘You’re always a delightful person to be around.’ She paused to take a breath, ‘To me you are.’ 

‘Now you’re just playing with my heart.’ Judy covered her mouth behind her hand so that her comment stayed explicitly between the two friends, and Nick didn’t jump to any conclusions. ‘I’m good at that.’ Jen hummed. ‘Listen, I’m not free this evening, but I’d be happy to see you some time in the next couple of days, before I leave, if you’d like?’ Judy suggested, and they both smiled from either end. ‘If you’re offering, then yes, I’d love to see you.’ Nick sat up to peer sharply at his best friend, not entirely sure what she was getting herself into, because he didn’t trust Jen, but Judy wasn’t entirely sure what she was getting herself into either.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are short, I'm sorry, but I hope they're enjoyable anyway! Thanks again.

‘You hear that?’ Judy, abruptly standing from her chair, her hair tied back into a tight ponytail and her hand reaching out to grab Jens, twirled and swayed to Elton John’s ‘Don’t go Breaking my Heart’ in collaboration with Kiki Dee, all in the eye of the public. Although the scene outside was wintry cold, to Jen, the brunette felt like the warmest summer day. ‘What are you doing?’ She smiled at her friend. ‘I’m dancing! What does it look like? I love this song, don’t you?’ She danced around the tables and the barista frowned, asking a customer to wait a moment, before calling out for Judy to sit. 

‘You’re fucking crazy.’ Jen hid her grin behind her coffee cup and glanced around at the displeased strangers, their heads shaking. For a moment Judy’s face fell, but she quickly replaced the evident discomfort with a smile. ‘I prefer free-spirited.’ The blonde nodded and suggested they go to a disco together sometime. ‘If I didn’t have a plane home soon, then yeah, I would have loved to.’ Judy cut into her slice of Victoria sponge. ‘Yeah. I forgot.’ The blonde stared across at her, wondering what the other was thinking, wondering if this had all been some kind of vivid fantasy she’d made up to mask her dissatisfactory reality with Ted. 

‘What is this?’ She asked, because if not then, when? ‘A café?’ Judy looked around with a mouth full of cake. ‘No, Judy, what is this? What are we doing?’Jen reached into her jean pocket for her cigarettes, but the brunette insisted she put them away. ‘I- What are we talking about? Did I say something wrong?’ Jen shook her head and handed over her menthols so she wasn’t tempted to cave to her addiction. 

‘No, I think I have my answer.’ She stood and thanked her for a lovely morning, handing over money and insisted she’d pay. Judy hesitated stuttering and stuttering over her words. ‘I have work later. If I don’t see you at all before you leave, have a safe flight.’ Jen eyed her cigarette pack, ‘I’ll try to stay off them.’

Judy’s time in New York didn’t last for much longer after that, a few days max, and then she flew back to Laguna, back to who she was in California. Nothing had changed, except for the festive decorations on every other home in the neighbourhood, given it was Christmas Eve the day she arrived back, and her manager expected her to work the night shift. 

She thought that maybe she would be working in fast food for the rest of her life, but at least she had memories to look back on, memories with a friend - Jen - whom she may never see again, and maybe that was finally dawning on her. 

Abe, Judy’s colleague at the food joint, and long time father figure, was more than joyous to see her, and he had been the one to encourage Judy to take up piano. Seeing him now, his happy wrinkles and wide open arms, the brunette realised how important the little things were. ‘Abe, you’re well.’ She cuddled herself into his fatherly embrace. ‘I am, are you? How did it go?’ He encouraged her to sit and tell him everything right away. ‘We’ve got all the time in the world.’ He told her. Although piano had been her main focus upon arriving in New York, and the disappointment of placing third had burdened her, Judy’s mind was preoccupied. Not by something, but someone, by Jen, by her feather blonde hair and the way she carried herself around. ‘Abe, can I ask you something?’ Judy offered her hand to him and he took it, nodding. ‘Do you think the really important people in our lives find their way back to us?’ She looked at him for reassurance, for an answer, and Abe smiled. ‘I do.’ He told her. ‘Why? Do you have someone in mind?’ Judy hadn’t expected him to dig that deep, and if it wasn’t for the inevitable disapproval, she’d have told him all about Jennifer.

‘I’m not sure.’ The brunette stood and helped up the elder man, insisting they start their shift, but Abe told her to sit back down whilst he fetched them both a hot beverage, and although the Californian air was more warm than cold, the small gesture reminded her of the chilly New York City weather. Judy turned to face the unwashed window while she waited. She hated those dirty finger marks and ice cream sundae splashes, but a couple of unwashed surfaces were the very least of her worries. 

‘There you are.’ Abe placed a cup of hot cocoa in front of his ‘daughter.’ ‘Thanks, Abe.’ She wrapped her hands gently around the mug and turned to face him. ‘I know there’s something you aren’t telling me, Judy.’ The brunette shook her head, ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘I think you do.’ Abe smiled. ‘You wouldn’t get it. I can’t tell you.’ Judy brushed away the tear she’d let slip. ‘You can tell me anything.’ The elder man threw his apron over the back of his chair. ‘Not everything.’ Judy told him, but in truth, she wouldn’t know who else to go to, not about something as shameful as this, or at least that’s what it was considered at the time.

‘I met this girl, at a roller rink, and a bar. Her name’s Jen. I was with Nick, and - please don’t make me explain it.’ Abe stared at her softly, and then reached over for her hand. ‘You like this girl?’ He asked. ‘Leaving felt easy at first, but now that I’ve flown home and had the time to really contemplate it, well, I guess I haven’t stopped thinking about her.’ She explained quietly, just on the off chance a customer might walk in so late at night.

‘And how do you think she feels?’ Abe smiled.

‘Oh, I don’t know. Probably not like this.’ Judy held the mug up to her mouth.

‘Do you know that for certain?’ He replied.

‘No, but I’m pretty sure.’ Judy paused, wandering her eyes around the diner, ‘I think.’ She’d been doing a lot of that lately - thinking - and never getting anywhere with it. She delicately trailed the tips of her fingers along the backs of her hands, along the dips of her knuckles, and smiled. Skin touching skin, intimacy, Judy wanted that, all of it, and she wanted it permanently. ‘There’s no harm in going after what you want, Judy, even if that means risking who you are already.’ Abe reached over to raise the brunette’s chin, trusting she’d look at him, and she did. 

‘Be brave.’ He told her.

‘How, Abe?’ Judy pulled the mug to her chest. ‘I missed the opportunity and left.’

‘No opportunity meant for you is missed.’ He smiled. ‘Now, I’m hungry, mind if I go mix up some pancakes?’ Judy shook her head no. ‘Great, you know where to find me.’ He meandered through to the kitchens, a slight skip in his step, and Judy sighed. She could always write to Jen, but to say what she didn’t know, not to mention the trouble that could cause if it landed in the wrong hands. Ted, for example. ‘Excuse me?’ She looked up to see two women, their hand holding the others in a tight grip, but Judy preferred the word ‘embrace.’

‘Are you closed?’ They asked and the brunette stood, kindly gesturing for the couple - or seemingly a couple - to follow her. ‘No, no, we’re open late, feel free to have a look at our menu whilst I fetch you both something to drink.’ She begged. ‘Wine? Tea?’ The pair of women grinned. ‘Spiced rum?’ They requested. ‘Let me check.’ Judy ambled through to the staff room and searched their stock, side eyeing Abe. ‘Do we have any spiced rum?’ He nodded and she found it, relieved to not be disappointing her customers. ‘Party for one?’ Abe happily munched on his pancakes, which he’d topped with an array of berries, but Judy was laughing. ‘Not tonight, we have visitors, but I’ve got it don’t worry.’ 

Judy, mesmerised by the couple’s openness, having returned to the main diner, poured their drinks. ‘Are you guys from around here?’ She wondered and they thanked her. ‘We’re pretty local.’ One of them smiled, her hair a fiery red, her body beautiful and plump, and the necklace around her neck a crucifix. The other had blonde hair, similar to Jens, but without the bounce, and she was wearing flared jeans with an open fluorescent, green shirt. ‘I’ll leave you both alone if you aren’t ordering from the menu?’

They weren’t, so the brunette shuffled aside and started washing already clean glasses with a wet cloth; a mere excuse to observe the couple. They looked happy, content, and they were making it work against all odds, so maybe, if Judy found the courage one day, her and Jen could.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a very merry christmas!

Happy to have served them, Judy cleaned up the couples empty glasses, returning to them with a free bowl of chocolate truffles. ‘On the house.’ She smiled. ‘Really?’ They asked in unison. ‘Of course, it’s Christmas.’ Judy turned to walk through to the kitchens, pleased with her one good deed of the day, but one of the two women stopped her.

‘What are you doing after work?’ Judy couldn’t quite bring herself to just say ‘nothing.’ Hesitating instead, she replied ‘I don’t know. I’m going home, I think, but I don’t know if I’m doing anything at home.’ Not quite the answer they’d anticipated. ‘We’re headed to a friend’s party if you’re not doing anything important at home.’ The request was a surprising one, to Judy at least, because making friends hadn’t always been easy. They came and they   
went, besides Nick. 

‘It’s Christmas Eve.’ Judy retorted. ‘We know.’ They stood, mouths full of chocolate truffles, no cares in the world. ‘It’s a night shift.’ The brunette sulked, but sure to come to her rescue was Abe, welcoming the couple with the happiest of all handshakes, a knowing twinkle in his eye. ‘These two lovely ladies are offering you a Christmas eve worth remembering, Judy. I’ll handle the shift, you earned it.’ He kissed between her fringe and Judy begged to stay and help, but arguing wasn’t her forte, at all actually, so it’s safe to say she agreed in the end.

The party wasn’t a popular one with men, per say, not that it made much of a difference to Judy. She recognised the music; ‘I Feel Love’ by Donna Summer. The couple she’d befriended had introduced themselves as Sam and Ronnie, best friends to lovers, and proud family rejects, but they’d left the brunette to her own devices just minutes after arriving. Judy hovered by the refreshments table, awkwardly waving hello to every passing by guest, until one of them stopped to offer her a shot of Christmas whiskey.

‘No, thank you, but no.’ She averted her gaze and the woman smiled. ‘I’ve never seen you around at these parties before. I’m Michelle.’ Judy scrunched up her nose and peered at the cheerful guest. ‘You have these regularly?’ Michelle nodded. ‘The Laguna lesbians do.’ Judy choked at that, and her acquaintance laughed. ‘Oh? I didn’t realise that’s what this...was.’ She eye’d the room and it all made a little more sense. The hand holding, the environment. ‘Yeah. I take it you’re here by accident?’ Michelle lay down the tray of whiskey and stood beside the brunette accompanying her at the refreshments table. Judy grimaced. ‘I haven’t worked it out yet. It’s all just a little crazy, I guess? Maybe a little scary.’ 

The other woman offered Judy a look of reassurance, a look she hadn’t realized she needed. ‘That’s okay. Scary is okay.’ Michelle soothed, gesturing for her new friend to join her in the lounge. It was safe to say there were quite a few closted women in that small town. ‘Some of them are married.’ Michelle stated, as if reading her mind. 

‘I think that’s brave. I’m not much of a liar.’ Judy said, wandering away with her thoughts. She didn’t feel like much of anything, especially since placing third in New York. A lesbian celebrative party wasn’t exactly what she had in mind that year, and even if at the end of it all Judy realised her feelings for Jen were real, it wouldn’t discredit her relationship with Nick. ‘I prefer misrepresented.’ Michelle sat in amongst the women and offered the brunette a place to sit too. The music had since changed to Billy Ocean’s ‘Love Really Hurts Without You,’ which, if Judy wasn’t thinking so hard about Jen and the lyrics ‘but don’t you know I’m out of my mind, so give me a sign,’ she’d have jumped out of her chair to become 1978’s next best dancer.

‘Maybe I should have given her a sign.’ Judy sighed.

‘Who?’ Replied Michelle. 

Blushing, the other woman shook her head. ‘No one. It doesn’t matter.’ Even though it did, it mattered a lot. Being the kind soul she’d proven to be all evening, Michelle offered to stay close by Judy for the few remaining hours, bringing them closer together as friends. ‘Come on. I’ll drive you home, I haven’t been drinking.’ Michelle handed Judy her jacket and they meandered outside, enjoying each other’s company, enjoying the little time they had together. ‘Thanks for sticking with me tonight, and driving me home.’ The brunette ducked into the car. Michelle smiled gently, ‘You’re more than welcome.’ 

The trip home ended a little unexpectedly. Judy invited Michelle inside, for reasons she wasn’t so sure of, and threw together some mocktails since neither of them were in favour of drinking. ‘Wow, this is amazing?’ She beamed, ‘What’s your secret?’

‘If I told you then it wouldn’t be secret now, would it?’ Judy giggled, humming into her glass because her drink tasted so delicious, if she did say so herself. ‘It wouldn’t.’ Her friend raised her glass and wished them both a merry Christmas, the pair swaying to a comfortable silence. There’s something familiar about the company of a woman, thought Judy, and she’d been thinking about it all night, about love, about Jen. That’s why her abrupt decision to kiss Michelle, because the tension between them had been bubbling all evening, didn’t feel faithful. 

In a sleazy attempt to pull back, Judy knocked the crown of her head against the kitchen cupboard and cried, reaching her hand up to soothe the sore spot. ‘That couldn’t have gone any worse.’ She smiled at her own idiocy. ‘I don’t know why I did that.’ Michelle sat her glass in the sink and reached out for her jacket. ‘We’ll call it a night.’ She smiled small, headed to the front door to say her farewells and wish the brunette a merry christmas, but Judy wasn’t celebrating, apart from homemade brownies and a glass or two of fridge cold wine (maybe).

‘You too.’ She closed the door behind her friend, but the word ‘friend’ had long since lost its meaning. Judy devoted the celebrative day of Christ to practicing piano, to writing music as an outlet. She hummed to every key she played, taking breaks only to snack or shower, ignoring Christmas until it took its course, and even as Abe pleaded for her to open the door and join him for dinner, or a festive drink or two, Judy drowned out the knocking.

She’d kissed a woman on Christmas eve, a woman, and if rumour got out, the brunette would be sure to lose professional opportunities as a pianist. Thinking about Jen - about her sexuality - wasn’t supposed to fall outside of the realm of fantasy. It was supposed to be a passing memory, a curiosity, an unfullfillment, or a funny fucking story to tell her kids. Anything but the reality (or the horror) of facing it. 

Now her thoughts and feelings were centre stage with a twinkling spotlight for added fucking effect. Judy was wailing by her piano, laying her head on the keys to drown out the sound with a high-pitched note, but the brunette wasn’t so sure if her heart was breaking over a wasted Christmas day, or a wasted opportunity with Jennifer, which she’d tried to resolve by kissing Michelle. It was all a little muddled, and perhaps all was moments away from making less sense for Judy, or maybe fate only had good things in store.

Regardless, Christmas 1978 had a surprise in store for the musician, a surprise that was a result of impulse, of realising that love might only happen once and there isn’t time to ever wait. Judy brewed herself a spiced orange tea in the evening to go with the white chocolate brownies she had baked last minute. Settled, the brunette lit an incense and stared out into the street, watching vehicles roll by every few minutes to visit their families. That was of course until one of them stopped outside, a taxi cab. Judy would recognise that stern look anywhere, that rockstar attitude she tried so hard to feign. 

She sat her mug down and pushed back the curtains to get a clear look outside, the blonde apparently arguing over how much to pay the driver, oblivious to Judy’s astounded stare. 

‘Jen?’

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading.


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